I have always wanted to start a blog. I have always admired reading other peoples blogs and wished I could do the same. I feel like I need some sort of outlet daily to write my daily thoughts, feelings, emotions etc. I have never been much for writing(my handwriting is HORRIBLE.)
Today, started with one of my least favorite things to do. I had to get a blood test. Ick. I hate these. And of course it took the poor nurse 2 times to finally get the right stick. I was so light-headed. I cant even look at the needle when it hits my skin. The reason I had to do the blood test was to check my thyroid. For fertility purposes. I NEVER thought I would be here. I mean look at my family history, most of us in my family got pregnant at the thought of "getting pregnant." I have been so scared all my life that I would be pregnant before I wanted to be because of this history. And now here I sit almost 2 years later "trying" and all I have had is one mis-carriage. My regular OB seemed to think this was all normal. Not to me! Everyone around me is getting pregnant left and right and I have had always had this goal in my life to be DONE with children by the time I reached 30. Here I sit at 26 1/2 still childless. So with this I finally decided to see a fertility doctor. I love him, he is so amazing. I recently had a surgery to remove a fibroid, fistula and my septum(which formed my heart shaped uterus.) Dr. Craig seems to think that this should me get pregnant in 1-3 months. As it stood before with all those items in the way a baby could only land in 2 spots! HA! I was not going to gamble every month so that is why I decided to get the surgery. I go see Dr. Craig for a follow up on all the days BLACK Friday. One of my favorite shopping days. At least the stores open at midnight on Thanksgiving night so the appointment will not get in the way of my shopping! I hope 2012 means baby year. It will be my three year wedding anniversary! I cant believe its been three years, time has flown by. I still love Tim as much as the first day
This is a little background of what has been consuming my life lately. Its hard not to think of having a child daily, when my close friends and family have them, along with my job. I see children ALL day! I am so happy for all of them, but I would love to join them very, very soon...
Thanks for sharing, Jess. I can't imagine it's easy to open up about what you guys have been going through. I can imagine, however, that by opening up you'll be amazed at the care and support others have for you and Tim. Keep your heads up, your thoughts positive and remember that we're here if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteYou're a great writer J! I find journaling helps me to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings, to cleanse out the negative ones and focus on the positives. I hope it helps you in the same way. I can't even begin to imagine how energy consuming this process has been for you and yet when I talk to you about it, you only smile and never give up. I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteheyo! heres to new blogs about to start mine!! see the fb for the first one! am excited to read yours and get updates on how your life is..:)
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